


Realm of Insanity

by CrystalNavy



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Based on Discord talk, Gen, crazy ideas people came up with, don't take these seriously
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-02
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2020-07-29 11:57:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 3,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20081833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrystalNavy/pseuds/CrystalNavy
Summary: Nothing is true. Everything is permitted.





	1. Best buddies?

Morgoth stood up from his throne, looking down at the visitor with tenderness.

"Welcome. Was it hard for you to sneak away?" he asked

"Not at all." Feanor grinned "I wish we could make our friendship more permanent."

"We could, but we'd have to pretend we hate one another for a while." Morgoth contemplated something for awhile "We could use your Silmarils as the reason. I will pretend that I desire them, and will steal them and fake your father's death. Then you'll have an excuse to follow me to Beleriand, and that's where we'll fake your death too. Afterwards, you can come live with me and Mairon."

"Sounds neat." Feanor's grin got wider "As long as I get to try that flambe pie of yours."


	2. Cooking?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not all skills are public knowledge.

Gothmog flipped another pancake over, and added it to the ever growing pile. in between each pancake, he put a spoonful of vanilla cream. Then, when he was done, he presented it to the people seated around the table. Those were Feanor, Morgoth, Mairon and Finwe.

"Time to dig in." Morgoth announced 

"For the rise of evil!" Mairon tipped his glass, filled with white wine

"I like your brand of evil." Feanor, who was already devouring the mille-feuille, muttered between bites "If you keep this up, you'll conquer all of Beleriand in no time."

"That's the idea." Morgoth began eating as well

The others followed suit, and soon the only sounds were those of munching.

And Gothmog was glad that his cooking skills were appreciated.


	3. Secret Identity (Pt.1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some people fear discovery.

Goldberry braided her hair, as she had done every day for the past thousand years. Ever since the loss of her previous husband and her fateful leap, she liked water. River-daughter she was indeed. She had a new name, and a new life, including a new husband. But she never forgot her old life, nor did she forget her old name. 

Tom entered, and Goldberry turned to face him, faking a smile.

Some wounds never faded, after all. She only had Tom, for she had lost everyone else she had ever loved, in that one moment.

"Are you feeling well, Goldberry, my love?" Tom asked her in a gentle tone

My love.

Few people called her that.

Brandir, son of Handir, had been the last.

Yes, Goldberry never forgot her name.

Nienor Niniel, the last child of Hurin.

Tom loved her. Tom kept her safe from the curse.

And in return, she loved him.

Not the same way he loved her, of course.

He loved her romantically, while she cherished him as her savior.


	4. Pets?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not all pets are cute and cuddly.

Life in Numenor was uneventful. 

Or it would have been, if not for a giant turtle looming over them like a living sign of apocalypse.

Even Pharazon was somewhat spooked, though he didn't show it.

The only person who wasn't perturbed was Tar-Miriel.

"How are you, Fluffy?" she greeted, petting the giant turtle "Could you get rid of my husband for me, Fluffy?"

[the following has been retconned out of embarassment]


	5. Hearts on Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mafia AU.

"Did it go well?" Feanor asked

"Yes, it did." Caranthir said, putting a closed sack onto the ground

Inside were many precious jewels, previously owned by the Valar, one of the rival families. Their boss was Manwe. Feanor and his sons often made jokes about their ineptitude.

"Morgoth and his gang are making a move, though Sauron had gone missing." Amrod and Amras reported "Also, Beren has joined forces with Finrod and his guys. They are going to steal a Silmaril."

"And they didn't invite me along?" Feanor frowned "This is most unacceptable."

Maedhros and Maglor had to chuckle at that. Feanor cared more about avenging his dad than retrieving the Silmarils. Most people, however, didn't notice this side of him.

However, his sons did, and so they supported him in his endeavors, no matter how crazy those endeavors were.

They were really a mafia family, in every sense of the word.


	6. Morgoth's fork

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Turin can't believe he didn't think of this sooner.

Morgoth found Turin pleasing to the eye. Sure, he was no Elda, but Morgoth had given up on them as possible romantic partners. 

And Turin himself didn't help matters. Each time Morgoth paid him a visit, Turin showed off his assets. All of them.

"Will you pop my cherry?" Turin asked him one day 

"That depends on whether you're willing to go a step further." Morgoth replied

"Oh yes, I am." Turin asked 

"Then, you want to marry me?" Morgoth continued

"Oh yes, I would." Turin affirmed

The marriage took place at the heart of Angband, complete with fire fountains and heavy metal music.

After the marriage was consummated, weird things began happening.

For one, Morgoth's forces began lessening in numbers, and the diseases which were previously unheard of dwindled his forces even further.

"Do you know why this is happening?" Morgoth asked Turin one day

Turin just threw his head back and laughed.

"You ruined yourself." Turin said in between laughs "Your Curse is still active."

And Morgoth facepalmed.


	7. Secrets (Pt.1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ever wondered who Feanor's real dad is? Well, wonder no more.

This was the end, Feanor could tell.

No way he'd survive, not with four Balrogs surrounding him.

Then, the chief Balrog, Gothmog, attacked the other three Balrogs. They killed him in the end, but not before he landed finishing blows of his own upon them.

He crawled over to Feanor, and grasped his arm

"Son....." he said quietly "Forgive me....."

"What are you saying?" Feanor seemed bewildered "My father is Finwe!"

"No, you are the son of Miriel and I......she and Finwe kept it a secret. I joined Morgoth.....to keep you safe......Forgive me."

And thus, Gothmog died, leaving Feanor confused and frustrated.


	8. Sin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, I had to include my number one favorite at least once.

Maeglin was unable to do anything, locked in his own body as he was.

To make matters worse, the one controlling his body was Sauron.

Which meant Maeglin could do nothing as silently scream as Sauron hit Earendil over the head and prepared to throw him over a cliff.

And he was using Maeglin's body to do it.

Meaning that all others saw was that Maeglin was doing it of his own free will, when nothing could be further from the truth.

He loved Idril, that was true, but he didn't want this. Things weren't supposed to go like this. Things were never supposed to go like this.

He would perform one last act of defiance.

"What's the meaning of this, Maeglin?" Tuor, who had just arrived, demanded

And Maeglin wrestled control from Sauron long enough to reply in his own voice

"What do you think?" he spoke haughtily "I brought Idril here so I can violate her, in both spirit and body. What are you going to do about it, filthy mortal?"

As Tuor advanced towards him, Maeglin steeled himself.

He relinquished control to Sauron just in time for Tuor cast them over the cliff.

He was redeemed.


	9. Misunderstanding (Pt.1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tuor and Idril are denied entry to Valinor, because they already live there. The question is, who are the imposters and who is the real deal?

Their journey was at the end. The peaceful life was theirs for the taking.

"Who are you?" Mandos asked, standing there as an imposing figure

"Tuor son of Huor and Idril Celebrindal." Tuor announced

"You already live here, so you're probably impostors." Mandos said "I will ask you to please leave."

"But." Tuor began

"Or." Mandos raised his hand "You can prove you're not imposters in our annual Games. The challenges are difficult. Are you up for this undertaking?"

"Well, we have no choice if we want to live here." Tuor shrugged "So yes, we're game."


	10. Secret Identity (Pt.2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some burdens are harder to bear than others.

The path she was traversing was a difficult one, but the ghosts of Turin and Gwindor kept her company.

With her trusty spear in hand, Finduilas Faelivrin descended into the battle. This dance was familiar to her.

She dodged a blow after blow, while dishing out some of her own.

And then Sauron was before her, and she channeled all of her rage and grief into one final blow.

She, Turin and Gwindor charged as one, and wounded Sauron heavily.

And then a blinding light shone, disorienting all the combatants. 

Once their sight cleared, both Finduilas and Sauron were gone.


	11. Secret Lovers (Pt.1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maeglin and Tuor fake the former's death, with some help from Idril, so that they can run away together.

Tuor approached, with slow, deliberate footsteps.

Then he ran Maeglin through with the sword, and the Elf collapsed upon the bedrock. With that, Tuor herded his wife and child towards the escape tunnel.

Once he was sure they were all gone, Maeglin put a traveler's cloak on, and headed down to the docks. There, he took a boat, and sailed away into the open waters.

Thus, Gondolin was deserted, completely and utterly.

Maeglin headed west, towards the Isle of Balar. Upon his arrival, he set his mind on building a permanent residence there. He knew that Tuor and Idril would join him eventually. 

Let the fools alter the truth if they so wished.

For as long as he had his two lovers with him, he would be happy.


	12. Dual Viewpoints

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elrond doesn't know how to deal with this.

Elrond grimaced. This kept happening too often for his liking.

He had to explain why they were wrong each time they did this, and yet they kept doing it over and over again regardless of his protests, and it grated his nerves.

"I swear, the next time they do this, I will break something."

"You know they mean well, Elrond." Glorfindel said with a beaming smile

"Yes, but it's so annoying." Elrond said

"If you need help keeping them away, I'll be glad to do so." Glorfindel said sincerely

"Thank you, it'd be appreciated." Elrond said

It truly was taxing his nerves to put up with all the well-meaning people. He missed Elros, Maedhros and Maglor. Those three treated him the way he wanted to be treated.


	13. Mother's Fury

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Melian is angry, though she hides it well.

It had been the tenth attempt this week, Melian thought furiously, as she marched into the emergency ward. 

Turin lay in bed, pale and sweating. Melian sat next to him and took his hand, squeezing it. If it weren't for her timely intervention, he would be dead. Her concern was borne out of affection, but also practicality. If Turin were to die, not only would she lose her son, but everyone would lose the only person who could destroy Morgoth for good.

"You need to take better care of yourself, son." she told him

"I try, but....." Turin struggled to get up

"You trust anyone far too easily, I know." Melian pushed him back down, gently

"I am sorry. I need to take better care of myself. Everyone's counting on me, after all." Turin sighed

"Don't worry. Me and Beleg will keep you safe." Melian assured him


	14. A Familiar War (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thingol declares war on Feanorians. Maedhros is indifferent, until he learns why.

"So......care to tell me what is the meaning of this?" Maedhros waved a note in his younger brother's face

"He followed me like a lovestruck puppy." Maglor defended himself 

"Regardless, Thingol is declaring war against us." Maedhros sighed "He has already lost Luthien, he doesn't want to lose another child of his, especially not because of us."

Turin, who was sixteen years old, looked up at them and blinked innocently.

"He said in no uncertain terms that 'you kinslaying spawn return my son to me immediately or I will raze Himring to the ground and pee on its ashes'." Maedhros read from the letter "What do you propose we do?"

Maglor didn't answer.

-x-

Maglor went out for a morning walk, taking his usual route.

Until an Elf clad in green jumped out of the bushes, followed by several more, placing a blade against his throat.

"You have two choices: return what you took from us or I will dispose of you." the Elf hissed in Maglor's ear "The world will not miss you, Kinslayer."

"Who are you?" Maglor raised an eyebrow

"I am Beleg." the Elf replied "But that's irrelevant. Where is Turin? What did you do to my best friend?"

-x-

"Celegorm, help!" Maglor ran into his brother's room and threw himself on the bed "They will rip me apart if you don't do something!"

Celegorm looked outside the window and saw a mob of angry Doriathrim outside, led by Thingol himself.

He sighed and picked his bow and arrows up from the wall.


	15. Eruhini Chatroom (In Halls of Mandos)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just what it says on the tin. Warnings for silly Elves & Men and grudges

_GeniusAndAwesomeElf has logged in_

_FingolfinTheBrave has logged in_

**FingolfinTheBrave**: Seriously?

**GeniusAndAwesomeElf**: I am not the one with self-aggrandizing title, nor did I include my real name as a part of my EC handle. Face it, you're the one who really wants recognition.

**FingolfinTheBrave**: .....Are you listening to yourself? Your handle screams 'attention seeker'. Not to mention.....

**GeniusAndAwesomeElf**: I have the right to refer to myself as such. It was me who made the greatest work in all of Arda, one that Valar themselves hallowed.

**FingolfinTheBrave**: Yeah, and then you decided to go on a suicide mission, and dragged all of us along with you. And then you got yourself killed by a Balrog, thus denying some of us our revenge.

**GeniusAndAwesomeElf**: Of course I would do that. I ain't called 'Spirit of Fire' for nothing.

**FingolfinTheBrave**: More like 'Spirit of Recklessness'.

**GeniusAndAwesomeElf**: You take that back!

**FingolfinTheBrave**: Or else what? What can you possibly do to me?

**GeniusAndAwesomeElf**: Introduce you to your grandsons.

**FingolfinTheBrave**: Don't you.....

_GilGaladTheElvenKing has logged in_

_TwilightPrince has logged in_

**FingolfinTheBrave**: ....dare.

**GeniusAndAwesomeElf**: Har har har har.

**GilGaladTheElvenKing**: How are you, grandfather.

**FingolfinTheBrave**: .......

**TwilightPrince**: Nice to meet you.

**FingolfinTheBrave**: I had grandsons I never knew about and I abandoned them in my recklessness, and you have to rub it in my face?!

**GeniusAndAwesomeElf**: Yes.


	16. Eruhini Chatroom (Feanor's Master Plan)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Never get between a genius and his pie.

**GeniusAndAwesomeElf**: Mandos is eating pie. I must steal it!

**FingolfinTheBrave**: And how do you plan to accomplish that?

**GeniusAndAwesomeElf**: I'll use Maeglin to distract him!

**TwilightPrince**: I didn't consent to that!

**GeniusAndAwesomeElf**: Oh shut up, you pansy.

**TwilightPrince**: Me and Hurin endured being tortured by Morgoth for a long time. If anyone are pansies, it's the rest of you guys.

**GeniusAndAwesomeElf**: I thought you hated Men?

**TwilightPrince**: Oh, i do, but I gotta give props where they're due.

_LordOfDorLomin has logged in_

_BlueHarpist has logged in_

_SongKing has logged in_

**BlueHarpist**: Hurrie!

**LordOfDorLomin**: Fingy!

**BlueHarpist**: How are your kids?

**LordOfDorLomin**: All of them are dead. So is my wife.

_DoomAndGloom has logged in_

**DoomAndGloom**: Hurin, can you stop Feanor from stealing my pie?

**LordOfDorLomin**: What is in it for me?

**DoomAndGloom**: Your family. You stop Feanor, I revive them, and you.

**LordOfDorLomin**: You've got yourself a deal.

_GeniusAndAwesomeElf has logged out_

_LordOfDorLomin has logged out_

_DoomAndGloom has logged out_

_TwilightPrince has logged out_

-x-

"Look, Mandos, a new soul is arriving." Maeglin points towards the light

Mandos looks away, and Feanor is about to grab the pie, when Hurin taps him on the shoulder.

"Look, a Silmaril!" Hurin cries

Feanor looks away, and Mandos vanishes, with the pie.

"I'll get you back for that, mortal." Feanor growls "Nobody gets between me and my pie."

"I'll help." Maeglin says out of principle.


	17. Eruhini Chatroom (Morgoth Gloats)

_DarkFoe has logged in_

_BlackSword has logged in_

_DarknessMaiden has logged in_

_LordOfDorLomin has logged in_

_TearMaiden has logged in_

_LaughingFire has logged in_

**LordOfDorLomin**: So Mandos kept his word. What will you do now, Morgoth? 

**DarkFoe**: I can still get you! 

**LordOfDorLomin**: I think you overestimate your own importance. 

**DarkFoe**: As if. 

**LordOfDorLomin**: You are a sad, sad creature with delusions of grandeur. Some of us can actually back up our boasts, but you can't. 

**DarkFoe**: ...... 

**LordOfDorLomin**: It's true. You rely on your servants to do your work for you. While you sit on your throne, doing nothing. Because you know fear. You know you're not invincible. 


	18. Eruhini Chatroom (Proposal)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fingolfin is planning to propose.

_GeniusAndAwesomeElf has logged in_

_FingolfinTheBrave has logged in_

**FingolfinTheBrave**: Listen up, I am planning to propose.

**GeniusAndAwesomeElf**: To whom?

**FingolfinTheBrave**: You'll find out soon enough. Will you make me a ring, though?

**GeniusAndAwesomeElf**: Sure.

_GeniusAndAwesomeElf has logged out_

_FingolfinTheBrave has logged out_

-x-

"There, all done." Feanor announced, handing a finished ring to Fingolfin

"It's perfect." Fingolfin said, examining it from all angles

Then he got on one knee.

"Feanaro Curufinwe Finwion Therindion." he looked up "Will you marry me?"


	19. Secrets (Pt.2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elrond and his dad have lived together for ten years, but no one noticed.

"We can't continue this, Elrond." Figwit sat up in bed "People need to learn the truth, and I...."

"Not another word about you leaving." Elrond interrupted 

"But you know who I am. You know what I've done." Figwit raised his voice a bit "None of these people would forgive me."

"Imladris is a place of healing for everyone, even you." Elrond said "Especially you. You deserve it more than anyone, Ada."

Figwit laid his head onto Elrond's lap, and Elrond raked his fingers through his long black hair.

As he did that, Figwit examined the scar on his right hand: the spot where Silmaril burned his hand.

"I forgive you." Elrond spoke softly "If you were such a horrible person, then you wouldn't have spared us, wouldn't have raised us, wouldn't have sung lullabies to us every single night."

"I have the blood on my hands. Blood of your real family." Figwit pointed out

"I forgive you." Elrond repeated "Stay with me, Ada."


	20. Nightmare (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even Morgoth has a nightmare. One that is very real.

Morgoth tossed and turned in his sleep. A giant bead of sweat rolled down his monstrous form. His wolves howled mournfully, sharing their Master's fear and pain. The Orcs scattered away, muttering to themselves.

"Come out." a calm but cold voice whispered from the direction of the doors "Come out and answer for my family."

And Morgoth shivered upon his cold throne. Not even the Silmarils could sway this one's mind.

"Come out, come out." the same voice beckoned

"Whatever you do, don't open that door." Morgoth instructed.

But then the doors caved in, as if they were pushed open by some invisible force. A middle-aged woman stood there, and terrifying light shone from her eyes.

"Greetings, Lord of Destruction." Morwen Eledhwen took three steps towards him "Destroyer of my family."

She shifted her hand, revealing a small but sharp knife.

"Do you know what happens when I peel off your skin?" Morwen asked calmly

"I am a Vala. I have no skin." Morgoth said

But he backed off from her nonetheless. If anyone was capable of finding a way to do this, it was her.


	21. Mother-hen (Pt.1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beleg has plans. Unfortunately, not everyone is onboard with those plans.

Beleg smiled, and scribbled some more words upon the scroll. He glanced around his current companions carefully, hiding his true intentions.

He felt the warmth of another person's body next to him.

He tucked the scroll into his tunic, and turned his head, observing Turin's face. His best friend frowned.

"May I see that scroll?" Turin pleaded

"No, you may not." Beleg announced gravely "At least not yet."

-x-

The table was adorned with various dishes. Everyone was seated around the table.

"This is a bit different from things we usually eat." Turin observed

Androg poked his food with a fork, and then sniffed it suspiciously.

"I will not eat this." he announced haughtily

Suddenly, a dark shadow loomed over him and everyone else.

"You will eat it." Beleg said in a voice which filled them with fear "Or you'll be punished."

There was silence, and then every person gathered around began to eat with haste.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just Beleg mother-henning.


	22. Reunion (Pt.1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reunion takes place in Aman.

Feanor reeled back from the force of the blow. He gingerly touched his cheek, and he could feel the pain.

His wife stood over him, a deep frown on her face.

"Why couldn't we be happy?" she demanded "Why couldn't you let me be happy? Most of our sons died because of your actions."

"I am sorry." Feanor said in a small voice "I thought they would succeed...."

"Succeed? Succeed?" Nerdanel asked incredulously "Morgoth is a Vala, that was a Vala they were fighting against. They couldn't have succeeded. This endeavor of yours was doomed from the beginning."

"Wait, you said 'most'." Feanor noted "That means some of them have survived. Which ones?"

"Come with me to Irmo's gardens, and see for yourself." Nerdanel sighed 

They walked in silence, all the way to the gardens. Once they had reached their destination, Irmo himself stepped out to greet them.

"I assume you came to see my wife's patient." Irmo said "If so, then come with me."

He lead them to the mansion in the middle of the gardens. There was soft music coming from within, and someone was humming as well.

"What is going on?" Feanor seemed confused

"My wife is a good singer." Irmo said "Not excellent, but good. What you are hearing is a duet of sorts."

With that, he opened the door. Both Este and Maglor looked up at him in suprise. Este stopped singing and Maglor put aside his harp.

"Your parents are here." Irmo announced "They came to see you."

"Well, I don't want to see them." Maglor said curtly "The curse of Feanor is strong, even now. Ma can come if she wants to, though."


End file.
